Sunday, August 16, 2009

me?

today i am inspired by nienie.

sometimes i don't recognize myself. sometimes it is physically - having a baby causes lots of changes - but mostly it is mentally. i have battled with depression off and on for the past 5 years. the biggest fight was the past 2 years, but i won. there were many battle wounds, and scars remain. there may not be a way you can see a picture of my mental state, but i figured if stephanie can muster up the courage to post a picture of her current status in physical change then i could try to at least put my current status into words. one thing that helps, that i'm sure she can relate to, is having a supportive husband that still tells me i'm beautiful even when i don't feel it.

i don't have the confidence i used to have, but i'm slowly regaining it. reading past blogs have helped me to remember who i was and what i really miss. every day i find ways to bring back a little bit more of who i used to be. i lost a lot of my prized spunk and creative drive. photography and other random projects are helping me get that back. i am coming back, it just takes time.

7 comments:

cmelygo said...

I think you are one of THE funniest, most amazing people that I never get to see! I wish we lived closer so you could rub some of your talent off on me! You are an amazing mom...just looking at him ANYONE would know that! Just know you are in my thoughts...as someone who feels like they are JUST getting back to being who they were after a VERY long dark 2 year journey...I pray for you to be happy and know that the mommy marks ARE battle scars lol...and I am working on finding SOMETHING that takes some of them away...have a bag full of acne treatment and stretch mark cream ready to go the SECOND this baby comes out LOL

Katie and Ferenc said...

i love nienie!

Dani said...

I saw this blog post:
http://andrewgarlock.blogspot.com/2009/08/snap-away.html
And thought of you right away! Keep truckn'!

Jen said...

Well I like you, for what that's worth.

Lisa Jean said...

I'm sure this wasn't an easy blog entry to post, you're one brave chica. To me you're still the same spunky, fun girl who used to live down the street from me!

Heather!! said...

blogging hellps, right? id hope that it should make you feel good to know that i admire you in a lot of ways...i love what you are to my cousin, as well :)

Amy said...

I loved looking back at your old journal entries, and seeing what you had to say about our days in Taylor Hall!! You inspire so many people!